Simon Says (2026) - Rob's Review
It’s true: horror fits my brand because… well, I love horror. I love film in general, but horror will always be my fallback, my home away from home. I’m messed up like that. You guys get it.
This week, I watched seven—gulp—indie horror films back-to-back. I’m gradually making my way through reviews for each one, so this is the culmination of my questionable viewing decisions over the last seven days:
- Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey
- Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey II—because obviously
- Bambi: The Reckoning
- Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare
- Gale: Yellow Brick Road
- Simon Says (2026)
Stay tuned for all those reviews, unless they’re already linked above. As they say, I saved the best for last. Let’s talk about Simon Says. Move over Obsession. Move over Saw. Move over Ready or Not. Simon Says you’re about to go on one hell of a ride.
Simon Says is an incredibly well-produced, gory, dark, twisted, and genuinely terrifying indie horror film. It delivers all those chef’s-kiss horror tropes we know and love while still feeling viciously unpredictable.
The direction is magnificent, placing the viewer directly in the middle of the escalating battle between killer and prey. The tension never lets up. And then there is Simon. This performance is iconic. Mark my words: Simon is going to end up on someone’s Mount Rushmore of horror killers.
We are given virtually no backstory (which now has me dying to know more), but Simon does not need an elaborate mythology to be terrifying. From the moment he arrives, he commands the screen. He may be the most frightening thing to ring a doorbell in years.
The supporting cast also does excellent work. They are required to sustain genuine fear and panic for an unusually long stretch of the film, and they make it believable. They may also have been required to hold a foot in the air for an equally unreasonable amount of time, so additional kudos for that.
Listen to me, horror community: take half an hour, head over to YouTube or Tubi, and stream this film for free. Now.